Ask For Help

You have a daily feedback meeting with your team where you update them on your progress and specify what you’re stuck on. The idea is to keep everyone aware of your workload so they understand your capacity for future tasks.

Now, imagine I come into the meeting and say, “I’m working on this task, and it’s really challenging me.” Instead of engaging with what I’m saying, you respond with, “Oh no, it’s fine! You can ask Simon; he can help you.”

First, you don’t even know if Simon can actually help me. You’re making that assumption based on, I don’t know what. Second, does Simon even want to help me? Third, do you think I’m not capable of figuring it out myself?

A creative person may interpret a response like that in different ways, depending on their skill level and approach to problem-solving. Many creatives thrive on challenges. When faced with something difficult, they see it as an opportunity to think differently. Even those who usually do routine tasks may welcome a challenge and share their enthusiasm during a feedback session. They won’t necessarily say, “I love this challenge,” but they’ll express it by saying, “This is really difficult, but I’m trying to figure it out.”

Telling them to seek help from someone else can feel undermining, as if you don’t trust their ability to solve problems. Professionals, especially those with experience, already know when to ask for help. If they truly need assistance, they will reach out on their own.

As a manager, if you’re not in touch with your team’s capabilities, telling someone to seek help can make it seem like you don’t understand what they can or cannot do. If someone who is usually independent says they’re struggling, that’s valuable information, it likely means the issue is particularly complex.

A better response when someone says they’re struggling is to ask: “Are you sharing this because you need help?” If they say no, then let them work through it. If they say yes, listen to their concerns and proceed accordingly. If this person has a history of struggling too long without seeking help, you can follow up privately after the meeting. You might say, “During the feedback session, you mentioned you’re struggling with X. Have you sought help, and do you think it would assist you?” If they have, great, move on. If not, ask if they’d like help to be arranged. Let them decide.

Creative people enjoy being challenged. If you tell them to seek help too soon, they might feel like you’re undermining their skills. If someone takes pride in their ability to solve complex problems, suggesting they ask for help can feel like an insult. They may hold onto that feeling and become less open about their struggles in future feedback sessions.

You want to create an environment where people feel safe to share their challenges without being judged. When people know they’re trusted, they perform better. The worst thing you can do to a creative person is make them feel like they don’t deserve the work they’re doing.

Being challenged is a privilege. If you’re never challenged, you’re not growing. Some people recognize this and embrace it. When you suggest seeking help too quickly, it can feel like you’re telling them they don’t deserve that privilege.

The focus should be on building an environment where collaboration happens naturally, not by force. Whether you’re managing a work team, coaching a sports team, or leading a creative group, don’t make it seem like only one person has all the answers. Empower people, and they will shine.

Always give people the opportunity to prove themselves by overcoming obstacles. Let them beat the odds, and watch their confidence grow. That’s it.