Best Before Date

Rethinking Priorities: Are We Focusing on What Truly Matters?

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about priorities and what we call a priority in our lives and how useful this notion is to the betterment of a human being’s life. I feel that priorities are very, very important in achieving success, as they help guide us when we have many things to do. A priority helps us know exactly what to focus on.

However, I think there is a fictional or self-created version of priority that can consume a person’s time and energy, steering them in a direction that is ultimately not good. If you think about it, a human being’s most fundamental priority is survival. The number one priority is to stay alive, which means doing everything necessary to support that notion.

When people lived in caves, without technology, survival was simple and straightforward: they needed to eat. Their priority was survival, and it was a matter of the fittest enduring. Surviving meant doing things each day to ensure that the next day they had something to eat so they wouldn’t starve. That was the fundamental priority of human existence.

I feel like, after that, someone came up with the idea of a list, an ordered ranking of what human beings should prioritize. But beyond survival, everything else became a matter of choice. It was no longer about necessity but preference. People started prioritizing careers, personal achievements, and other pursuits as their number one goal.

For example, let’s say someone wants to study to get a specific job position, they want to become a partner at a law firm or a CTO at an IT company. They prioritize that goal as their number one priority, which is fine. But it misses the point. Many of the priorities we choose have an expiration date. The priority to survive, however, does not. It only ceases to be relevant when a person dies. Until then, it remains the ultimate priority.

If a priority has an expiration date, is it really a priority? If something can stop being a priority at some point, is it truly necessary for it to be one at all? Why don’t we focus more on priorities that do not have an expiration date, things that remain essential throughout life?

The Expiration Date Hierarchy

Rather than seeing priorities as a simple list, we should recognize that they exist in a hierarchy based on their longevity and impact.

1. Essential & Permanent Priorities (No Expiration Date)

These are the priorities that remain relevant for as long as you live. They are fundamental to human well-being and should always come first.

• Survival: The most basic priority, ensuring you stay alive through health, safety, and well-being.

• Relationships & Human Connection: Social bonds, family, and meaningful relationships contribute to a fulfilling life and don’t lose their importance over time.

• Personal Growth & Purpose: A sense of meaning, whether through self-discovery, spirituality, or contributing to something bigger than yourself, provides lifelong fulfilment .

2. Supporting Priorities (Useful but Temporary)

These priorities serve a purpose at certain stages of life but should never replace permanent priorities. They help achieve stability and growth but should be seen as tools, not the end goal.

• Career & Education: These provide financial stability and intellectual fulfilment , but they expire when they no longer serve you (e.g., retirement, career shifts).

• Wealth & Status: Financial security is important, but beyond a certain point, money stops adding meaning to life. Status fades, and chasing it indefinitely can leave people feeling empty.

• Personal Projects & Achievements: Things like writing a book, mastering a skill, or earning accolades can be fulfilling but shouldn’t come at the cost of essential priorities.

3. Artificial Priorities (Manufactured & Fleeting)

These priorities feel urgent in the moment but are entirely replaceable, often dictated by society rather than personal fulfillment. They have no lasting value and should never outrank essential or even supporting priorities.

• Social Validation & Trends: Seeking approval, fitting in, or chasing what’s currently fashionable often leads to regret.

• Materialism: The desire for more things (cars, luxury items, bigger houses) rarely leads to lasting happiness.

• Productivity for the Sake of Productivity: The pressure to always be busy, even when it doesn’t contribute to well-being, creates burnout without real fulfilment.

Why This Matters

We sacrifice essential, permanent priorities (relationships, well-being) for supporting or artificial ones (careers, status, material success). We dedicate ourselves to our careers, believing that if we lose focus, our progress will suffer. But what if a career dip is necessary to shift focus to a priority that doesn’t expire?

What if someone focuses so much on their career that they miss the opportunity to build a meaningful relationship? Imagine a person striving to become a chartered accountant. Along the way, they meet someone they could spend their life with, but they choose to prioritize their career instead. Years later, they achieve their goal, but that priority has now expired. What happens then?

Is this why people experience midlife crises? They reach a point where they have everything they worked for, yet they look around and realize they lack meaningful connections. They reflect on their achievements and see how much time was spent chasing things that were fleeting.

What if life gives us clues, moments when we should reassess our priorities? That potential partner, that relationship they passed up, what if those were signs to shift focus?

Reevaluating How We Teach Priorities

Is it really wise to teach people to have priorities when most of those priorities will eventually expire? Humans, by default, already have a fundamental priority: survival. Our bodies are wired for it. Why don’t we, after securing survival, live more flexibly? Why don’t we assess priorities based on whether they have an expiration date?

Instead of blindly prioritizing careers and personal goals, we should first ask: Does this priority expire? If it does, it shouldn’t be our number one. It can be important, but it should never take precedence over things that endure.

We often say that social connections and relationships are essential for human beings. These should always be a top priority because they don’t have an expiration date. Everything else should come second. When faced with a choice between social engagement and career advancement, we should carefully consider choosing human connection.

Careers can always be rebuilt. No one on their deathbed regrets not getting a second PhD. But many regret the time they lost with loved ones. We need to rethink the way we teach priorities. We should encourage people to focus on priorities that don’t expire.