Free, and Then What?
Life unfolds in passages, and we all exit these passages at different points.
Everyone goes through some form of suffering, this too is a kind of passage. But how we deal with it determines how we handle the future. Each person’s exit is different, shaped by their experiences and resilience.
There are certain set passages society has created for us. One of the clearest is education. We decided that children need to go to school. In many places, this is mandated, primary and secondary education are often compulsory, while tertiary education is an optional choice, though strongly encouraged. Over time, this path has become normalised. Most people pass through it.
We have also built a system of incentives around these passages. Those who move through them successfully, especially those who pursue tertiary education, are more likely to receive societal rewards: jobs, status, stability. In fact, the greater the passage, the greater the incentive. It is a structured funnel that guides people toward certain definitions of success.
But after that comes something different. The passage ends, and suddenly, you are free. You can do whatever you want.
And that is where it gets difficult.
After years of being guided through structured paths, you enter a stage of life with no clear direction. It is darker here, full of surprises. Some of the assumptions you carried turn out to be wrong. The paths you take might lead nowhere. You stumble. You struggle. Often, you are alone, without help.
Still, this is not the end. Most of us push on, clinging to the hope that there is an exit worth reaching, something meaningful on the other side. And sometimes, it takes years.
Eventually, when we do find some fruit on the other side, we are tasked with guiding the next generation through the same passages. But now, that generation is asking questions.
“Do we really have to do all of this?”
“Is this the only way to live?”
Those of us who exited the traditional paths and found success often respond with certainty: Yes, this is the way.
And so, we begin to drill these ideas into them, sometimes forcefully, repeating the cycle.
And they comply.
And the circle continues.